Apparently I’m on Santa’s Nice list this year, as he just sent me a DM asking what he should try to drop down my chimney (which connects to the furnace, not a fireplace). I told him to just leave a pair of Nikon Z8's on my front porch (just like the FedEx driver would do, despite the package requiring a signature ;~).
However, Santa has this habit of trying to fill my stockings and stuffing additional gear under the tree, so I thought I’d better give him a list of things not to bother with. Here’s this year's list:
- No more tripods! Sensor-based stabilization is all you need, right? Okay, not really. But tripods were mostly mastered by Gitzo many years ago with the Mountaineer. Since copied by everyone who has access to carbon fiber. Sure, a few companies have made some modest improvements on something, like the leg locks, but I haven’t really seen anything that’s going to replace what’s already in my closet. When a tank drives over my tripod, I’ll let Santa know that I’d like a new one in the next holiday drop.
- No more filters! The camera companies—Tamron being an exception—seem to pick filter sizes out of the air. My filter cabinet now overflows with variations of the same filter in a dozen different sizes. And yet, about the only filter that really does anything useful for me any more is a circular polarizer, and then only in specific situations. Okay, maybe an ND filter, too. Still, my glass runneth over, and over, and over. Stop the madness.
- No more vlogging cameras without stabilization! And I mean sensor-based stabilization, not that faux electronic stuff that requires a crop. Oh, you want me to use it on a gimbal? Sorry, but that just made the whole solution bigger than my regular camera, which has sensor-based stabilization.
- Nothing that requires a connector other than USB-C 3.2 or HDMI Type A! The cable kit I carry in my camera bag is almost as big as the dopp kit I carry in my checked luggage. All the cable/charger variations that I live with these days is getting beyond out of control. No more chaos, please. No more dongles. No more connector adapters. No more power-only cables. No more USB A to C cables. No more mini, midi, or other sizes.
- No CFast, CompactFlash, or pre-UHS-II cards! I’m sure there are some needy children out there who Santa can deliver these to, but most of us solely use CFexpress and UHS-II cards now. Santa can deliver any quantity of those to me and I’ll smile and leave an extra cookie next year with the milk.
- No more presets! I just loaded another software package into my computer. 356 presets to scroll through. None of which I'll use. No, I don't want a "cinema look" for my photos. No, I don't want my photos to look ancient. No, your black and white choices don't even come close to what Ansel Adams would want, let alone me. And no, all these new presets don't actually do anything I couldn't already do with the 2569 presets that are already installed on my computer that I already ignore.
And while I have your ear, Santa, please send some extra elves to Tokyo to help Nikon make a few more useful DX bodies and lenses. Apparently top management has forgotten how to do that and needs some magical help.
