Since we're heavy into the days of camera as fashion accessory, determining which color of camera to buy is as important as any other feature on today's cameras. To help you decide, here's my Guide to Camera Color:
- Black. You believe that nearly 50 years of decision making by camera designers can't possibly be wrong. You're a conformist. You scoff at people who would even consider another color, and believe that metal is naturally black. Moreover, black matches (most of) your lenses in color, and it's important to have a matching ensemble. You may have been influenced by women's fashion trends in New York City, but you'd never admit that. All this despite the fact that heat is the enemy of digital, and black absorbs heat. At least your camera will be warmer when you pick it up outside in the middle of winter. Assuming it's a sunny day, of course. But you only photograph on sunny days because you've been told it takes light to make a photograph.
- White. You're a progressive, maybe even one of the intellectual elite that forgot to vote in the last election. You correctly realize that white reflects heat and heat isn't what you want your camera collecting. Unfortunately, you didn't think it all the way through. Every time you set down your camera on something or use it in the dirty outdoors, it seems to collect dirt and grime, and now it looks a lot like your white 1996 Volvo wagon: beaten and bruised. The good news, though, is that you're going to drop your camera into a deep snow drift this winter and not be able to find the white object in a white pile. Feel free to pick another color.
- Pink. You're probably using a camera that you originally intended for your teenage daughter. She rejected it because it "doesn't do Facebook." Either that or you realized that what you bought her this year is better than your three year old dinosaur in almost every way, so you decided not to give it to her at all. Unfortunately, you're now embarrassed to use it outside, so you've decided to specialize in indoor macro photography so that no one else will see you using it. Either that or you seek attention.
- Red. You aspire to owning a Ferrari. Or maybe a Corvette. But you don't yet have either. So you photograph with your red camera and when people ask, you just nonchalantly say "it matches my wheels." You also carry this camera in a Ferrari-logoed camera bag, which you think helps with the ruse. At least until those around you watch you get into your silver Honda minivan in the parking lot. Also, you are almost certainly male.
- Silver. You're over 60 years old, and remember when cameras were made of metal and not covered with faux leather that falls off. Unfortunately, you discovered that all the "silver" on your latest acquisition is actually painted polycarbonate, and it produces terrible-looking dings every time you bump it against something. Instead of a nice proud dent, the scuffed "silver" reveals that underneath your camera's silver surface is black plastic, just like that front bumper on your car. Well, at least it looks traditional. Until you use it for a few weeks and it no longer looks shiny and new. Fortunately, you haven't used this camera yet, so now you're going to just stick it in a display case somewhere in the den and let everyone who stops by admire your metal camera from afar.
- Blue. You got to the store late, and only the blue model was left. That makes you a pragmatist. Or a procrastinator. You're definitely not an early adopter or someone who gets up before the stores open in the morning. Fortunately, you don't care what others think, so you just use your blue camera as if it were "normal." Every now an again someone asks you about it, but you just reply "I don't know, it came that way." You're a little worried that the blue model is inferior in some way to the black or white version, but this is just your insecurity kicking in. Keep taking pictures. You'll be okay.
- Green. You're a liberal. You believe that anything green, is, well, green. Or at least represents your intention of being green. You'll point out that you recycled your old camera to get this one (read: you sold it on eBay). It looks really nice sitting on the hood of your green Ford Escape Hybrid, too, though it doesn't seem to take any pictures when you do this. Because you felt guilty about buying something new, you planted a tree in your back yard. But it'll die soon because you're too busy driving your Escape Hybrid to great photo locations and placing your green camera on the hood to spend much time maintaining your yard.
- Camo. You had to carefully disassemble your camera to get the plastic panels off so you could apply camouflage paint to them. (It just shows you how poorly the Japanese understand the US market that they haven't produced a camo-colored camera yet.) You did this while wearing your camo t-shirt and sweat pants in between sessions of playing Call of Duty: Black Ops. The final results sure look more American than Japanese, which you'll point out to anyone that will listen to you, which basically means your spouse and your two friends. You also tell everyone that you'll get better wildlife photos by "blending in with the environment", and indeed you do blend in, just enough to end up in a hunter's sights next fall.
Couple of reader comments:
"You were remiss in not including cameras with school football colors, such as garnet and gold (for FSU—my favorite), blue and orange, red and white, etc."(from DG). Correct. This is an extension of my "how poorly the Japanese understand the US market" comment. Once you get into fad-based marketing, there are all kinds of things you can do to highly goose overall volume, at the minor expense of customization of the external body panels. In fact, a very viable extension of this is to not brand your own company on products, but to do vanity branding of the same basic unit. I'm really surprised that no camera company has picked up on this at all.
"You should set up your own Homeland Security Color Scheme (HCCS). (from another DG)." Ah, why didn't I think of that one? I could have written: "The TSA today announced that only cameras with the appropriate Danger Level Color scheme will be allowed through airport security starting in the middle of the Thanksgiving holiday travel season (which ensures that people who traveled with "dangerous" cameras on outbound flights can't repeat that returning home). Since the current security advisory is Orange, only Orange and Red cameras will be let through the TSA screening stations until further notice."
"I used to own a small camo Mag-Lite and just about every
time I put it down sowewhere I had a hell of a time finding it, until I finally *did* lose it for good while camping someplace in Utah. So maybe a camo camera is not such a great idea after all..." (from SM). Actually, this is good news for camera makers. Loss of camera leads to natural upgrade possibilities and continued sales. In fact, between selling white-only cameras in winter and camo-only cameras the rest of the year, the camera companies should be able to increase unit volumes by 20% or more just from the needed replacement market. Better still, this gives a giant boost to metal detector sales, too, so it offers a logical sideline business for the camera companies: "Camera Finder--attaches easily to a tripod or monopod leg so that you can sweep an area after photographing to look for lost equipment. Now available in camo cladding to match your camera!"