From time to time I get whimsical. Okay, scratch that, I get sarcastic. One of the things that triggers this is when I go out somewhere to take photographs and start getting questions. Herewith are my latest answers to those questions:
What are you taking a picture of?
I’m not really taking a photo of anything, I’m just collecting data for AI.
Why are you using such a big, heavy camera?
It’s part of my weight training and fitness program. Smartphones, even the big ones, don’t do much for your physique.
Why are you taking so many photos?
I have a new, large, hard drive I’m trying to fill. The salesman promised me he’d replace it with a bigger one if I managed to fill it within 24 hours of purchasing it.
What exposure are you using?
The proper one, light filtered by aperture filtered by shutter speed. Other than that, I sometimes button up my jacket if I’m getting too cold.
Should I know who you are?
You should. Hi, I’m Ansel Adams.
Do you sell your photos?
No, they sell themselves. If I took a picture of you you’ll get a purchase request from one of them in your email later today.
Do you use raw or JPEG?
For you, I’ll create a JPEG. Would you like it medium or well done?
Can I see your work on Instagram?
Even if I posted to Instagram, which I don’t, it’d be unlikely that you ever saw it because Meta shows you what they want you to see.
Do you use Photoshop? And if so, how can you say you produce photos?
You use your brain, so how can you say you produce information?
Can your camera see in the dark?
Better than I can, so be careful what you do at night, it might get recorded.